Wednesday, 1 July 2009


Is how I feel.

I can't put my finger on anything that's 'wrong' but something isn't right.

I'm getting fed up with food - I miss being able to not think about it - sure I was a greedy bugger and I would think about food, but it didn't really matter before. I'd plan what main meals to have when doing the food shop. Chuck some cereal in a tub, add milk at work and that was breakfast. Lunch I'd see what was on the menu and have soup or baked potato at work.
Now I've got to plan 3 meals plus 3 snacks every single day. I'm only home for one meal and one snack so I've got to think of things that are work friendly. It's too expensive and time consuming to come up with different things to have daily - even having two options for each and alternating is tough and adds a whole other layer of thought and planning to eating.

But it's eating whatever I fancied, whenever I fancied that made me unhappy and fat in the first place!

I don't want to eat crap but I cannot spend my life with food having such a big impact and so much control over me! I know this isn't going to be permanent but it just seems like the end is so far away. In february I set myself a goal of losing 1.5 stone - that took 5 months!! And I still have about the same again left to lose. I think the whole thing of getting to goal then realising I still had so much further to go might be bringing me down a bit - I achieved my goal but still don't like what I see so feel as though I haven't achieved anything.

I thought about switching to maintenance cals for a week or so - but that wont help, I'll need to put even more thought into eating more and still keeping it healthy. I don't want to just take time off from the whole thing because I'll put weight on! Having a few extra pounds isn't a big issue, but I have been unhappy with my weight since high school and feeling fat brings me down too - I feel worse about being fat that I do right now so obvioulsy being fat and happy is not the answer!

I guess I just need to ride it out and hope it passes soon.

On the plus side, it's onlt the food stuff getting me down - I'm still really enjoying the exercise and hate if I have to miss it!


  1. I've felt like this a few times since embarking on this journey. I'm not sure what the answer is but its not a quick fix whatever it is! At the moment I am getting through it by subscribing to loads of foodie blogs to give me inspiration and ideas so I look forward to trying a new food. Like you though, I have to plan mobile food to take to work and its a drag quite frankly! You're deffo not alone on this one love!

    PS this weather ain't helping one bit. I felt like crud yesterday about everything and wondered what the hell I was putting the effort in for. In hindsight I think I was a bit dehydrated and tired!

  2. I love the feeling of being thin, but hate having to log all nutritional info for everything I put in my mouth, and working out how best to up my protein, without adding to my fats or carbs, or vice versa.

    I agree with Edna, the humidity is awful. Just wipes me out and makes me feel like a sweaty fatty.

  3. Chin up Crappy, this auld weather is a nightmare and will just be making you feel rubbish about it all. Maybe try and find some new meals/snacks to have and see if that helps x

  4. StellaDoesBlogging2 July 2009 at 11:12

    It has been really muggy up here lately, I do hate that! Yesterday was lovely though, our first summers day for aaaaages up here!

    Thanks for your comments guys - I'm feeling much better about it all today, i had a blow out last night, it was great! Forgot how good brie is!
    Back on track today and no longer feeling miserable about the food stuff, hope this lasts!


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